Single & Pregnant

It all started last year. Steve and I have been dating for three months… One of our agreements, when we started seeing each other, is to postpone sex till when we are married. Usually we avoid being alone in his room anytime I visited, and vice-versa. We always ensure we sit in open places and have our siblings around the house when we are together at home. My Mom has always encouraged me to make sure I preserve my virginity as my best gift for my future husband. I’ve made up my mind that I will remain a virgin till I get married. So, we both set rules and tried as much as possible to keep them.

Some weeks ago, I visited Steve in his house, unknown to me that Steve’s siblings had all gone to their uncle’s house for the weekend and his parents were also not at home. “Nice to see you, Clara,” Steve opened the door for me with a radiating smile and affection! “where is everybody?” I asked! Hoping to see Steve’s siblings. “oh, I’m the only one at home today, and what do I offer you to drink?” Steve replied. Any drink will be ok! I replied. We both sat down to watch some movies in the living room; we discussed different topics ranging from politics, celebrities, to our recent youth programs in the church. Along the line, I noticed the unusual gaze from Steve, but I ignored it, thinking nothing unexpected will happen, more so we are not in the bedroom! I was wrong!!! One thing led to another, to cut a long story short, we lost our guards! We had Sex! I lost my virginity! I lost my pride! I buried my head in shame and left without saying goodbye to him.

Just yesterday, I got the most shocking news of my life! I’m PREGNANT!!! How do I face my Mom and Dad? How do I tell my Youth Pastor? What about my friends? Oh no!!! What do I do now? Abort? Oh, that will be adding sin to sin, and it will be worse! No, Abortion is not an Option! I will lose my friends, I will lose my dignity, and will be a loner in the church youth group!!! Oh, I’m done for!

Are you like CLARA??? SINGLE & PREGNANT?

There is a stigma attached to being pregnant as an unmarried lady, of course, it’s not proper to be pregnant outside marriage, but what most people don’t realise that the real deal is not the pregnancy, something led to the pregnancy; which is “sex.” So, the real problem is not the pregnancy, but fornication! Most churches will carry out pregnancy test for couples that are about to wed, to be sure the lady is not pregnant before the wedding date, but fail to “test” for sex before the wedding day (by asking them if they’ve had sex)! So, in the bid for some girls to do what is called a “white wedding”, they will choose to do an abortion!!! Adding sin to sin and ended up being worse; killing an innocent child!!!

ARE YOU SINGLE AND HAVING SEX BUT NOT PREGNANT? You are not better off than the one that is pregnant, in fact, it shows that the one that is pregnant is naïve and not as corny as the one that is having sex but not pregnant. So, if you are single and having sex, I will advise you to stop!!! God is against fornication and all forms of sexual immoralities, that is why the bible says, “Flee fornication”!

IF YOU ARE SINGLE AND PRESENTLY PREGNANT, I will repeat what Jesus said to the woman that was caught in adultery, “SIN NO MORE” … Don’t go back into fornication and don’t seek an abortion! You should acknowledge the fact that the baby you are carrying has nothing to do with the sin that was committed, so never allow the baby to suffer the consequences of your action! That baby is loaded with destiny! So, don’t do anything stupid to yourself or the baby! It has happened, take full responsibility for it. I understand that some singles are pregnant as a result of being raped, in that case, it might not be their fault, so people should not label every pregnant single as a bad person! (If you are a victim of rape, I have another article I’m publishing soon for you… You can also read How I Lost My Virginity. on this Blog), but for now, don’t allow the incident to change your life negatively! Rather be strong and move forward. God knows how to reward everyone for what we do.

So, my dear pregnant single lady, what’s next?

NEXT STEPS…

• The first thing you must ensure is restoring a perfect relationship with God, by acknowledging your sins, ask for God’s forgiveness, and accept Jesus as your Lord and saviour (if you haven’t done so before)
• Don’t continue to live in regret, forgive yourself and forgive the person that is responsible for your pregnancy.
• Don’t abandon the fellowship of believers. Initially, you may feel ashamed, thinking of how people will think of you, but you don’t have to allow that cut you off from attending church! And if you are placed under any discipline by your church (mostly those that are workers or ministers in their church) don’t allow that separate you from the love of God. The bible says: whosoever the father loves, He chastises.
• Let the period of pregnancy be a period of re-dedication and re-strategizing your life’s goals and ambitions. Although there will be interruptions in your life’s pursuit, don’t allow that put a permanent stop to your life, it may slow you down, but it should not stop you, as soon as your baby is born and wined, bounce back, bigger and better!
• Don’t allow the episode to repeat itself in your life again, pray for strength, set necessary rules, ask for the power of the Holy Spirit and ensure you always walk in the Spirit. The bible says; “walk in the Spirit, and you will not fulfil the desires of the flesh.”
• In case you are not willing to get married to the person that impregnated you for any reason. Don’t worry about whether you are ever going be settled in a good home. Know that the fact you have a baby does not mean you can’t get a “good” husband to marry. When you allow God to direct your life henceforth, He will get you the right man that will accept you and be willing to accept your baby too!  (Note: as a believer, don’t marry an unbeliever under any circumstances! The bible says “what agreement is there between light and darkness”)
• If you are in courtship with the guy that impregnated you, then you both must fully repent and take full responsibilities for your actions. Don’t rejoice in iniquity, rather be sober and be repentant. Then put your life together and move on! Missing a white wedding shouldn’t be your greatest worry, but rather how to amend your relationship with God. Have due consultations with your pastor and/or marriage committee to determine the next steps in your marital relationship!

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS SINGLE AND PREGNANT?

Don’t cast her out! Show her love and be willing to help her regain her lost self! Remember what Jesus said, “he that is without sin should cast the first stone” … your encouragement for the person does not mean you are promoting or encouraging other girls to be pregnant before marriage! Just like this write-up is not to encourage singles to be pregnant before marriage or engage in pre-marital sex, you are only trying to rescue a soul from perishing! Remember that countless single girls are having sex and are not pregnant because they are so “good” at using contraceptives! So, the one that is pregnant is not worse than them.

Encourage the person to be closer to God, and to be present in church programs. Talk to her about prenatal and antenatal care. HELP HER REGAIN HER SELF AS A REAL WOMAN! SHOW HER TRUE CHRISTIAN LOVE! THE LOVE OF GOD!

ARE YOU SINGLE AND STILL A VIRGIN?… Don’t lose your virginity until you are married, continue to preserve yourself, don’t give in to the pressure of sexual pleasures and pressure. And don’t engage in other forms of sexual immoralities (kissing, petting, humping, masturbation, cloths-on-romance, pornography etc.)! They are all uncleanliness (read “I KEPT MY VIRGINITY BUT LOST MY PURITY” on this Blog)

ARE YOU SINGE BUT HAVE LOST YOUR VIRGINITY?... Don’t continue in Sin, STOP SINNING! Keep yourself pure, repent of your sins and start a new life with Christ! The bible says “If anyone is in Christ, He (or she) is a new creature, old things are passed away, behold all things have become new” … So, continue to walk in newness as a “virgin” of Grace!

So, my dear single-but-pregnant, don’t lose hope and don’t abort your baby (read “THE DARKEST NIGHT, THE CRY OF AN UNBORN BABY” on this Blog)

REMEMBER GOD LOVES US, WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS, JESUS DIED FOR US!

If you don’t have a relationship with Him, you can start one today and right now.

Simply bow your head and pray this simple prayer from your heart!

“Lord Jesus, I have seen my self as a sinner. I have sinned against you. I confess all my sins of immoralities, fornication, lies etc. (mention them). Have Mercy upon me Oh God! I Accept Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. Thank you for dying for my sins, Today I forsake all my sins, and I surrender my life to you, Jesus. Come into my heart Holy Spirit of God and give me the power to sin no more. Thank you for saving me. In Jesus name, I pray.”

(the prayer above is just a sample…. Pray, following that pattern from your heart and not just merely repeating what is written, let your prayers and confession be genuine)

If you just gave your life to Jesus or just rededicated your life to Him, I will like to hear from you.

I’m your friend, and I love you,
Paul Ojomu

Let’s connect

I will like to connect with you, Chat with me on Facebook.  www.facebook.com/ojomupaul

If you have a personal story you want to share with me, you can add me up on Facebook and inbox me or send an email to me directly:  paul@youthandsingles.com

Join our youth and singles group online https://www.facebook.com/groups/youthandsinglesinternational 

Read other articles on this Blog: (we also want to read your comments).

The Darkest Night, The Cry of an Unborn Child.
I Kept My Virginity, But Lost My Purity.
How I Lost My Virginity.
Courtship: What You Need To Know
CYNTHIA Must Die, But MERCY Said No!
He Took Off My Underwear! (girls only)
Pornography: The way out!
The #1 Mistake Singles Make – (Single & Searching Series Vol. 1)
How To Know The Will Of God In Marriage – (Single & Searching Series Vol. 2) Single, Saved & Sexual.– (Understanding the sex drive!)
How to Attract the Right Guy!…(For Single Ladies)
The Dignity of Virginity

and many more…