I used to fight, abuse, and quarrel with him every night he tried to sleep with me, until he reported to his mother who hired two strong men, one squeezed my arms, another tied one of my legs on the bed and squeezed the other one in his arms. My tears were warm like boiling water when no one came to rescue me from the pain I felt as I lost my virginity at sixteen to a man my dad forced me to marry, a man I never knew or loved.
This was the worst experience I have ever had; I didn’t know what it meant to sleep with a man. I had ignored many boys and no one had ever talked to me about having sexual intercourse.
Here is the full story:
My birth was a mistake since my mum had divorced my dad, but when she went back for financial assistance, she accidentally fell in love with him again and she realized it after she conceived, but had nothing to do so she couldn’t abort like some do. I was different from all my dad’s children and this led to doubt from our grandmother whether I was a real daughter to her son or for another man and she forced him to jealousy hate me. My mum told me.
I started school when Dad used to pay all dues until when I started my O’level (High School), by this time I used to live with him and my stepmother. Things started changing slowly as they would chase me back home for school fees, but my father never responded positively. Some people in our village used to ask me for assistance, mainly elders, but whenever my father heard this he Would argue with me and stop me from going to school, but I insisted and tried as much as possible.
When I was in class 4 (Fourth year), I came back home and found a man in the living room, but never took it into consideration as it was none of my business. I found my clothes already packed in a bag but I didn’t take the initiative to ask who did it. After changing my uniform, my dad called me and said in a deep tone of voice “ You’re going with this man and from today, he will take care of you”
I was shocked and considered my studies, at first I thought this person I had never seen in my family had got me another school. Surprisingly, the man took me to his house where I didn’t find any person. I interrogated him but he never answered me. The following morning, I didn’t go to school like Used to do. I stayed at home and when he came back late in the evening, he came into my room and told me that he was to sleep on my bed that night.
I fought him and never allowed him to even touch me. He did it for three days, but I resisted and he asked, “Do you know what brought you here?” I was totally confused about everything he said to me. His aunt came and told me the same words, but I still resisted. I had no means of communicating with my my mum and dad. It was later I realized that my dad and stepmother betrayed me.
One evening I saw this man coming with his mum and two men, they entered my room and his mum ordered the two men to hold me tightly on the bed, they did so! Her son began defiling me. I felt great pain. I cried but there was no one that came to stop his actions until he was satisfied.
This is the way I lost my virginity. In pain; I regretted it and wonder whether I just escaped from my mother’s womb. Could a real father wish this to his daughter? If you’re a parent, can you allow your daughter to lose her golden V-card in such a bad way? luckily I didn’t acquire any STDs or become pregnant.
I narrowly escaped two days after that event. I went to my mum and narrated my story to her. She broke into tears, something I had never seen my mother done. She counseled me, took me to a hospital where a nurse attended to me in a careful way. She informed me too about the different scenarios that happened to girls like me. She encouraged me that losing my virginity wrongfully, though painfully, is not the end of life, Life goes on.
After receiving medical attention, my mother took me to a certain family where a lady rehabilitated me and I continued my studies, resuming from where I stopped.
Currently, I’m in my third year at one of the Universities in Uganda pursuing a degree in Nursing and all I wish is to work with the Uganda Police which I see as one of the ways to help my fellow sisters from being trapped in the evil deeds of rape.
Though it was not the end of my life, I will never forget the pain my dad wished for me in life and how he managed to fulfill it but God being our creator said “forgive those who sin against you” It is easy to forgive, but really difficult to forget. I didn’t dream of losing my golden card in that way. I practiced abstinence, sacrificed all my life to be pure until my wedding day, but all that was terminated before the right time.
It’s a pity that a lot of parents in Africa lack value for the girl child.
Some girls are denied access to good education, while others are forced into early marriages or commercial sex work by their own parents.
Parents, you should take good care of your children; protect them jealously if you want them to enjoy life, fulfill their dreams and see them succeed in life.
Forced marriage has been a major issue in most African countries, lots of under age girls are been forced into marriage at the detriment of their future!
Are you a girl facing similar challenges in life? If you can read this, then your voice can be heard and help can definitely come your way.
Knowing the Lord Jesus Christ is essential in your life’s journey, He is the hope of the world and the one that can amend a broken life. I will encourage you to surrender your life to Him today, accept Him as your Lord and Savior and He will turn your life around.
If you are ready, say this simple prayer: “Lord Jesus, I have seen myself as a sinner, I am sorry for all the things I have done wrong in my life (take a few moment to ask His forgiveness for anything particular that is on your conscience). Please forgive me and cleanse me with your blood.
Thank you that you died on the cross for me so that I could be forgiven and set free. I confess and accept Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. Let all the works of darkness be destroyed in my life.
Thank you Lord for accepting me as your child and for writing my name in the book of life. Thank you Lord Jesus, Thank you heavenly father, in Jesus name I pray (amen)
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