Are you confused about knowing the will of God in marriage? Have you been trying hard to ensure you don’t make a wrong choice in choosing a spouse? Then this short and simplified article will be of help to you.
Some people think there is no need to find God’s will when it comes to the issues of choosing a spouse; some will argue that the Bible already said that “he that find a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.” Yes, that is true! It is your duty to find your spouse! But the question is, how do you know what is best for you? (Read our past article: The #1 Mistake Singles Make). Sometimes we choose based on our perception; what we can see and what we can observe! But the truth is that when you meet a hypocritical person; who is an expert in pretense, then it becomes somehow difficult to know the truth about the individual, but God is not limited in His view, He sees what we can’t see. So wisdom demands that we just ask Him to guide our choice according to His desire for our lives.
The Bible says “For I know the thought that I have towards you, thought of peace and not of evil, to give you a glorious end,” so the plan of God for our lives is beautiful, it’s the best!!! God will not give you what will hurt or harm you!
The very first step in finding out who is God’s will for you in marriage is to ensure you are in God’s will yourself and you know how to find His will in other areas of your life.
When you are in God (born again) and allow God to rule your heart, it will be easier for you to hear Him and follow His leading when it’s time for you to start a marital relationship. Of course, you know that we as humans are liable to wrong judgments, wrong assumptions, and mistakes, due to our finite understanding and limited knowledge, but the Infinite, Omnipotent, Omnipresent and the Omniscient God knows the best for us, He sees the heart of everyone, even the deep secrets of our lives. He instituted marriage; He is the manufacturer of marriage, so He knows marriage inside out. Remember how he got a wife for Adam? He caused him to have a deep sleep; you also need to sleep, not physically but in absolute surrender to His will and leading. You can be sure that when you see your spouse you will shout “this is the bone of my bones and the flesh of my flesh” and you will give her that divine name!…same for ladies too, when Eve saw Adam, she wasn’t looking for a dog to marry! She knew “this is my husband” …..
God speaks and makes His will known to people through various ways which include:
- Through the Bible – His will is revealed in the Bible for example in 1 Thessalonians 4: 3 The bible says” for this is the will of God, your sanctification, for you to abstain from fornication” So ask yourself what does the Bible says about marriage?
- Through messages or godly counsel; you can receive direct godly counsel on who to marry, but be careful not to allow any man of God dictate to you who you must marry. It’s your choice, not your pastor’s choice. No one else is going to leave with your spouse. They can only counsel and advice, but can’t force you against your will.
- Through the gift of the Spirit, The Holy Spirit can reveal to you depending on how you’ve been dealing with the Holy Spirit in the past.
- Through inner intuition or inward witness: you can just know within you, in other words, you are deeply convinced beyond any reasonable doubt. But remember your convictions must be in line with the word of God, God’s will cannot contradict His word and commandments.
- Through situations and circumstances: The way God arrange two people to meet can sometimes be funny, it may be any circumstances imaginable.
- Through word of knowledge: God can speak to people through the Word of Knowledge.
- Through dreams, trance and visions: but you must be very careful about dreams, you must have been able to trust your dreams in the past, and also be sure that you can interpret your dreams. No matter how sure you are about your dream. Always ensure you also have other sources of confirmation in addition to your dream. Otherwise, you can easily be deceived to marry a wrong person if you depend on your dreams only. If I’ve followed the dream I had before I got married, I would have married a wrong person!
- Through audible voices: God can speak in audible voices, but be sure you can differentiate when God is speaking to you from when the devil or your flesh is speaking. God spoke to Samuel audibly, even though it took the intervention of the Priest, Eli for Samuel to know who was speaking to him.
Note: No matter how God speaks to you, the following rules must apply before you can finalize your decision (remember that you are responsible for the choice you make)
- It must not be contrary to the word of God, in other words, it must be in agreement with the scriptures
- It must not contradict God’s nature and character
- It must produce peace and joy in your heart, there must be peace of mind anytime you think about the relationship, you must be convinced.
When we talk about being convinced about your choice, what does it mean?
Conviction in the choice of marriage simply means:
- To prove beyond reasonable doubt
- No fear, the Bible says there is no fear in love, but perfect love cast away fear.
- No double mind, your mind is settled.
- A strong belief in your decision
- You are fully persuaded and sure of your decision
- You have inner satisfaction about your choice
- There is no conflict within you; there is no sudden fear or restlessness.
- You have the peace of mind about your choice.
Watch out for the next series specifically for guys and ladies!
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Sexual Lines No Pastor/ Youth Leader Should Cross
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He took off my underwear
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I kissed Jezebel
Cynthia must Die but Mercy said No
And many more…