Communication is an essential ingredient in any relationship, with the advent of instant messaging, partners no longer depend on phone calls to communicate. WhatsApp is one of the most widely used instant messaging apps. As good as it is for bridging the communication gap, it has its own side effects.
Let’s discuss how WhatsApp or other instant messaging Apps may be ruining your relationship!
- Message Misinterpretation: One major challenge of text messaging is that it is devoid of body language, you can’t even read the tone of a voice… the same statement or phrase may have different interpretations when sent as a text or when heard over the phone or in face-to-face communication. An innocent message may be misinterpreted and read differently by your partner. People read different tones to messages and before you know it, a heated argument can surface based on a simple text message from an innocent sender. Even your smiley emoticon can be read as a negative sarcasm. Virtually anything you type can be misinterpreted!
- Display Picture Saga: You can get into trouble with your partner when you use the picture of someone else as your DP especially that of the opposite sex! Most people do that to celebrate other people’s birthday! But it can really land you into trouble with your partner!
- Real Communication Issue: Too much use of instant messaging can rob your relationship of real genuine mouth-to-ear communication. Overtime, you may end up not having a real conversation with your partner especially in a long-distance relationship, or when your partner is on a long journey! With time there can be a complete breakdown of interest in real communication.
- Deleted Messages: your partner can quickly take you as a cheat if he/she finds out that messages with the opposite sex have been deleted! It doesn’t matter the reason you give for deleting the messages, you are already set up for a misunderstanding which can become aggravated if your spouse does not trust you 100%.
- Last Seen: When you refuse to allow your “last seen status” to be revealed, it may spark suspicion and unnecessary friction. Your partner may start thinking you don’t want him/her to know when you last came online because you are chatting with other people and you don’t want him/her to know! Or on the other hand if his/her last seen was 3am and you both stopped chatting 11pm, you begin to wonder who he or she was chatting with in the middle of the night! …trouble…trouble.. trouble!
- The Double Blue Ticks (Read Receipts): If you don’t enable the read receipt some people will fight you, and when you enable it, another trouble! Now he/she thinks you’ve read the message and you are not replying, what is he/she doing? ….she’s probably ignoring me!… he/she starts keeping track of the time interval between the time you saw the message and the time you reply! Before you know it, trouble, arguments, misunderstanings, and eventual breakup!
- Online but Not Chatting with Your Partner: When you partner discover you are online and you are not chatting with him/her he/she will start wondering who on earth are you chatting with? The worst is if he/she keeps going offline anytime you come online, he/she simply assumes you are avoiding him/her. This is another recipe for disaster and breakup!
- Every-Minute Messaging: Some people become so addicted to messaging that they expect their partner to send them messages every minute! Any little break in chatting is big trouble! They want the chat flow to continue every minute without a break! Failure to meet up with the demand can spell B-R-E-A-K-U-P.
My advice! Don’t allow instant messaging ruin your relationship! Always give your spouse a benefit of doubt! Don’t conclude on anything; don’t assume anything until you discuss with your spouse/partner. The two of you should sit down and discuss how the issues raised here can be better managed. The bottom line is TRUST! If you are both single and you can’t trust each other, then there is no point to continue with the relationship!
Marry someone you trust, and also trust you, that is where understanding the will of God in Marriage is so important. Don’t rush into a relationship! Understand the meaning of Marriage, Pray and seek the face of God before choosing a spouse!
There are tons of articles on this blog that will help you further!
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Omotayo Ariyo Peter
I have gained a lot from this piece.
It will help me do the needful
This is lovely, very accurate and no doubt the very best had ever read so far