Why do we always think that only girls can be used and dumped sexually? Is it because we assume this is men’s world? And everything that happens is to please the man? So when a guy and a girl have pre-marital sex (fornication), the guys goes about bragging that he has used the girl especially after break up!
A lady was sharing with me recently and was saying he felt used and dumped, and that she lost more than the guy!, then I told her that, the guy was equally used by her, in fact, the guy lost so many things, he lost his relationship with God and so on!
So guys listen! When you sleep with a woman, you are also being used! You are open to cross infections; in fact, you are the bigger loser! So what are you bragging about? That girl has equally used you for all you care!
Why do you think some ladies seduced guys to sleep with them? Some of this girls also sees some of you guys as objects to satisfy their own sexual pleasure and pervasion, it’s just that women by their nature don’t brag about their sexual encounters like guys do, but believe me, some of them discuss you guys in their rooms or hostels same way you guys do! And some guys are been used by “sugar moms” who treat them as sex boys, some guys in the process has been used for ritual purposes, some guys have slept with demon possessed and dangerous girls to the ruin of their destinies!
The wisest king that ever lived captures it all when he wrote, in the concluding part of his story “With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, with her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, He did not know it would cost his life. Now therefore, listen to me, my children; Pay attention to the words of my mouth: Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways, Do not stray into her paths; For she has cast down many wounded, And all who were slain by her were strong men. Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death”. Proverb 7: 6-27 (kjv + nlt).
Did u read that? “She has cast many wounded”! (Who then is using who?), “she has cast many wounded” and her captives were strong men! Her house is the way to hell descending to the chambers of death! Bros, be wise, the devil is using those girls to kill your destiny! Be wise!
My brother, God has placed great value over your life, why will you allow one girl to destroy that value! Why will you destroy your life as a result of momentary enjoyment? I know some guys who ruined their future as a result of sexual promiscuity, they were busy running after girls instead of facing their life’s goals and career, instead of serving God, they were busy serving their libido, today they are regretting how they wasted their lives, they thought they were using those girls and dumping them not knowing that they were equally being used and their lives getting wasted! You may argue that you can’t get pregnant, but have you forgotten that you are going to be held responsible?
Stop running after girls for immoralities, the bible says “he that commits fornication lacks understanding, he that does it, destroys his own soul” and equally warns “flee fornication, every sin that a man commits is without the body but he that commit fornication sin against his own body, what! Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which ye have of God and ye are not of your own. For you are bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God’s”- 1 Cor. 6: 16-20
Know your worth guy! Don’t misuse your life. You’ve got responsibilities as a man. Understand your roles in marriage!
Your Responsibilities As a Man in Marriage
In marriage, a man is saddled with so many responsibilities that he can’t afford to be unprepared in his single’s life. Knowing your responsibilities and roles will enable you to wake up and begin to prepare ahead. Remember marriage is for men and not for boys.
The man as a leader: The man’s role in the bible starts with leadership! The man must be able t be a leader at home, providing leadership to his wife and children. 1 Timothy chapter 3 talks about whosoever want to be a deacon in the church must first of all be able to rule his own house well, otherwise, how will he lead the church. So you have a responsibility to lead your home. If you can’t lead yourself now, how will you provide leadership for your home? Don’t forget leadership is influence. You must influence your children positively, train them in the way of the Lord.
The man as a husband: Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church”. Love is not just saying verbally ” I love you” As a husband, you must be ready to sacrifice so many things for your wife, just as Christ demonstrated His love for us by sacrificing His life. Love is Sacrifice! Are you preparing now for that? 1 Peter 3: 7 says “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered” .If you understand these scriptures, you will have a different view about women! You’ve got a role to perform as a husband!
The man as a provider: “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” 1 Timothy 5:8. As the man you are expected to provide financially for your home, it doesn’t matter how wealthy your wife may be, you still have to contribute to your family upkeep. So what are you doing now to prepare for those responsibilities! Don’t misunderstand me; you don’t have to be very rich before you get married. But you have to be able to provide the basic things, food, clothing and accommodation! Be focused and determined to succeed in life… a woman will rather marry a guy that is poor today but have a great vision for his life and is working towards it than a guy who has no future ambition but is boasting with the cash he has now!
The man as a protector: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” Colossians 3:19. Rather than being harsh with your wife, you need to protect and care for them. If you don’t know how to treat ladies right now, how will you treat your wife rightly? As a single guy, you should never abuse girls (and anybody) let alone your wife when you are married.
The man as a father: Not only do you have responsibilities to your wife when you are married. You equally have great responsibilities to your children, you must provide for them, and lead them rightly! No wonder the bible says “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” Ephesians 6: 4
The man as a role model and mentor: The younger generation is looking up to you to serve as a role model for them; they are looking up to you for mentorship! What do you have to offer this generation? Can young people look up to you? Remember you cannot be a mentor to that young girl you are always trying to romance at the slightest opportunity, or trying to take advantage of sexually.
On a final note!
To be the real man you ought to be, you have to know the best Man that ever lived, His name is Jesus. He came to the world to show unto us what it mean to be the REAL MAN!, The bible says that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (Jesus), that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.
Today you can become THE REAL MAN and a NEW MAN, by accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
You can do that right now by praying this simple prayer!
Dear God, I have seen myself as a sinner in dire need of a Savior, today I confess and forsake all my sins (mention the sins), forgive me Lord Jesus, and I accept you Lord Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior. Come into my heart Lord Jesus. Be the Lord of my life. Give me the power to sin no more. Let your Spirit and Power begin to rule over my life henceforth. I am your Lord. Thank you for dying for me, thank you for saving me. In Jesus name I prayed amen.
If you sincerely prayed this prayer I want to congratulate and welcome you to God’s special family
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I’m your friend,
Paul Ojomu.
Read other articles on this blog:
Know your worth girl
I kissed Jezebel
My uncle had sex with me
He took off my underwear
How I lost my Virginity
Friendship with the opposite sex
Single, Saved and Sexual
Games singles play
and many more….
Ikenna
May God bless you for the courtship articles. it is a blessing to me.